


The Other Shelby Girl

by rileypotter17



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-13 22:08:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3398024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rileypotter17/pseuds/rileypotter17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sophie Davies is John Shelby's adoptive daughter and is brought back to Small Heath after Martha Shelby dies to help him with the children. The last time she saw the Shelbys, things were much different. The last thing Tommy wants is a pretty London girl that he feels responsible for, and yet he finds himself considering it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Posh Girl

**Author's Note:**

> For reference the story begins right before Ep. 1. As a warning, this story will be a strong M in later chapters and while it will feature canon pairings (Grace/Tommy, Freddie/Ada, etc.), it will also feature a Tommy/OC pairing that could be construed as incest (the OC is not related to Tommy in any way, but she will be part of the Shelby family, as you’ll see) so please keep that in mind and turn away now if you don’t like that. 
> 
> Thank you so much for giving this story a read and please let me know what you think!!

**~o0o~**

**Small Heath, Birmingham, 1919**

“Family meeting in five,” John Shelby yelled over the dull roar of the office at 6 Watery Lane in Small Heath. His Aunt Polly, who was all but a mother to him and his brothers, nodded her head by her place at the books. He hoped this meeting would go well, seeing as he had already finalized the plans without asking Pol or his brothers first.

“Family meeting?” Tommy Shelby walked through the door to the main office, placing a hand on the left shoulder of Scudboat, one of his bookies, and smiling at the number of bets on Monaghan Boy, their horse in the next race. Five-hundred quid on the horse and counting. “Alright, out. All of ya.”

Without much ceremony, Scudboat, Lovelock, and the other bookies made themselves scarce in the adjoining room and the few men placing bets for the race the next day hurried to place their money on the table and scribble their names in the book before getting back out onto the street, leaving only Aunt Pol, Tommy, their oldest brother Arthur, and their youngest, Finn, alone with John.

“So what is it, John boy?” Arthur kicked his feet up onto the table littered with notes and coins.

“I’ve written to Sophie and I’ve decided to bring her to Small Heath,” John wrung his hands together. His eyes went to Tommy first, knowing he would be the one to ultimately give his blessing. Since the war, Tommy had turned into the patriarch of the family, usurping Arthur no matter how much hetried to hang onto the title.

“Little Sophie? I haven’t seen that girl since she was just a bit older than Finn is now,” Polly smiled. It made John grin that he would have someone on his side with this.

“Neither have I, you know that. Martha saw her more than me…visited her at the school when she could get into London while I was away. She’s a woman now, and about to finish school and I thought she could live with me. Help me take care of the kids. It’s been so hard since last winter when Martha…” John stopped so that his voice wouldn’t crack.

“God takes the best first, John, you know that,” Polly reached out to touch his arm, which he was thankful for. He looked at his brothers. Finn was only a babe when he and his late wife adopted Sophie to take her in after her mother, Martha’s sister, died of cholera. But Tommy and Arthur were painfully silent.

“Fuck, Tommy, say something? She’s practically my daughter,” John filled the silence, getting uncomfortable with his brothers’ blank stares.

“But she isn’t. She isn’t really a Shelby. She’s a Davies. I’m sorry about Martha, but hire someone from Small Heath to help with the kids then. Give someone a job here who we owe something to. The Blinders always give honest work to those who need it, and some posh girl from London doesn’t need it,” Tommy said, pulling his pocket watch out and checking the time, anxious to get back to the betting, “Is that all?”

“Tommy, it might not be so bad. Maybe having another woman around might convince our Ada to be around her family more often,” Arthur suggested, and John smiled at his brother. It was one of the most intelligent things he had said all day, given how drunk he was on mild.

“The Blinders have paid for her education at that boarding school, even when times were hard, for you John. I’m not going to have that money wasted so she can come here and play nanny,” Tommy sighs, “We’ll send her to bloody Oxford if you want. We just don’t need her here. We have enough going on with Ada out at all hours and we are about to really make a crack at the races. Meeting adjourned. Back to work.”

“I’ve already bought her the ticket, she’s coming up tomorrow,” John said when Tommy started to walk away. His brother turned to look at him.

“Then why did you call a family meeting if you already decided?” Tommy adjusted his hat, the razor sewn into the cap glinting in the sunlight coming through the dusty windows.

“She’s family, Thomas,” Polly’s lips pursed.

“I don’t know how we are going to protect a girl like that here, but we’ll deal with it tomorrow. Now, back to work. We have money to make.” Tommy finished, unlatching the door to the office and jerking his hand for the bookies to come back in before fishing in his vest for his lighter and another cigarette.

**~o0o~**

Sophie Davies sat in the first class carriage of a train bound from London to Birmingham with all of her belongings in one heavy trunk. She wore her best hat, which rested neatly on her stick straight brown hair that fell a few inches below her shoulders. She also wore her uniform from the girls’ school she went to in Edgeware Road: a powder blue and white pinstripe romper with her tan fox fur coat over and stockings paired with her best shoes. She wanted to make a good impression with the Shelbys. When John had written to her, she hadn’t even thought about saying ‘no’ to his request. Being in London, she hadn’t been able to attend her Aunt Martha’s funeral last year and John and Martha had been the closest thing she had to parents after her own mother died when Sophie was only eleven. She wanted nothing more than to stay with John and meet his children and help him in any way she could.

Sophie was very aware that John and his family footed the rather hefty bill for her private education and it had taught her many things, but she had been lonely. Beyond the few friends she made at the school, she had no family in London to turn to when she needed it, except for the rare visits from her Aunt Martha in bright tea rooms near Kensington. Her Aunt told Sophie about her children, and many times she had visited swollen with pregnancy and glowing. John was her true love and she missed him desperately while he was at war; it seemed that any time he got a chance to visit Birmingham during those four painful years he blessed her with another child. John wrote to Sophie from France and she missed him too; hasty scribbles from the trenches asking after her and sending his love.

She vaguely remembered her one summer in Small Heath, right after her mother had died and begged John and Martha to take her in on her deathbed. They became her new parents in every way, even though they were just barely married. It had been the last she’d seen of the Shelbys. Sophie thought about how her and Ada would run the streets together and called themselves the princesses of Small Heath. Aunt Pol always had tea and biscuits ready for them when they tromped home muddy. The only thing that she remembered about Arthur was how tall he was. Finn was just a swaddled little thing. But she remembered Tommy. His blue eyes and the smile on his face when he would chase her and Ada around before each letting them have a turn being swung around in his arms. It was no secret that Ada loved him best, so of course Sophie followed her lead for those few months.

But she had felt right at home with John and Martha. At eleven, Sophie had been old enough to understand enough about the Shelbys. John had lost his mother too, almost at the same age as Sophie, and his father had abandoned the boys for greener pastures. Their Aunt, Polly Gray, had taken the four Shelby brothers and their sister, Ada, in as her own in the same way her own Aunt had, and it made her feel close to her adoptive parents instantly.

But the middle of the summer brought everything to an end. Sophie turned twelve the day before the Great War and with it came the three oldest Shelby boys going off to fight. Sophie wanted to stay and help Martha, but the Shelbys were sending her back to London, where she was born and grew up, to a boarding school for girls where she would be safe and happy, at John’s request. She only had a few months with them, but fate was now bringing her back.

**~o0o~  
**

“I’m bloody nervous.” John toed the ground as he stood on the Birmingham platform waiting for the train to arrive.

“You’d be a fool if you weren’t. She may be grown but this is still a responsibility and you’ve done the right thing,” Polly praised him. She was proud of John for keeping his children in mind when he could be fully occupying himself with whiskey and women.

“What if she doesn’t like it here?”

“We’ll make her feel at home. Small Heath has its charms. And she’s coming for you and the children, not for the scenery,” Polly looked down the tracks to see the steam from the train not a mile off, “We’ll have a family dinner tonight to celebrate.”

“What if I don’t recognize her?” John was a mess. After Tommy’s less than encouraging reaction this morning, he had been questioning every little thing.

“Something tells me you will.” Polly put a light hand on his shoulder as the train shuddered to a stop and the doors were opened. There was an instant rush of people, but they both saw her get out of the carriage, drop her trunk on the ground and run to them.

Sophie threw her arms around John’s neck, losing her hat as she did. She had been worried she wouldn’t know him from anyone else on the crowded platform, but he looked nearly the same as the last day she saw him. His face was still childlike and he looked her age, even if he did have almost decade on her.

John was glad his brothers weren’t around because when he pushed Sophie back to look at her face, there were tears in his eyes. It was like he had a bit of Martha back with him now.

“John, grab her trunk,” Polly bent down to pick up Sophie’s forgotten hat, stepping in when she knew John was at a loss for words, “And let’s be on our way.” He handed Sophie her hat and reached for her hand.

“Aunt Polly, it is so good to see you,” Sophie smiled and Polly nodded in agreement. To her, the woman had barely aged and looked just as beautiful as she remembered. For their part, Polly and John were instantly struck by her London accent and her sweet, soft way of speaking. Polly then noticed her rich looking fur coat and her buttoned-up, proper school uniform as the three of them walked to the Napier parked outside of the station.

“Sophie, I’m so glad to see ya. So glad you are here,” John finally spoke with a big smile on his face as he loaded her trunk into the car and opened the door for her to climb in with Polly as he took the driver’s seat, “Everyone is so happy to see ya.”

“A lot has changed since the last time you were here, Sophie,” Polly said as she looked out the window as the train station disappeared behind them and John turned into the main road to Small Heath. If Sophie were to be part of this family, she would have to learn quickly about their business and how to keep secrets. The Peaky Blinders started a little over a year before Sophie had even come into their lives the first time and had only continued during the war through the efforts of Polly and Ada. Now that the boys were back, the last two years had seen success for the Blinders. They were starting to dabble in respectable work, and were seen as more than just a petty gang. The Blinders controlled all of Small Heath and were looking to expand; their race fixing was paying off handsomely. As far as Polly was concerned, she could use a good woman in the office with her. Sophie was educated in ways that Ada and the boys weren’t, and she knew the girl would get bored without something else to do besides chase after John’s children. Sophie would learn and Sophie would help, if Polly had her way.

**~o0o~**

“Ada?” Polly called out as she opened the door to 7 Watery Lane, the Shelby family house neighboring their office. She had given the girl explicit orders this morning and she hoped to God her niece had followed them.

“Coming! One minute!” Ada’s voice rang from up the stairs and there was an audible sigh of relief that passed from John to Polly as Sophie stood awkwardly in the main living room with them with her hands clasped in front of her.

A few moments later, Ada Shelby was coming down the stairs with three little ones around her skirt and one in her arms. They were in their Sunday best and cleaned up, despite the fact that it was a Thursday. John stepped forward with a proud smile on his face, “Sophie, these are my children. This one’s George, he’s five now,” John ruffled the short brown hair of the darling boy squirming next to Ada, “And these are the twins, Mary and Emma. And Ada is holding my youngest, Henry.”

Before Sophie could say anything, Ada spoke. “Nice to see you again, Sophie. Funny how it worked out for both of us…”

Polly shot Ada a look of disappointment and Sophie smiled politely, despite the clear resent and bitterness in Ada’s tone as the girl looked her over. Naively, Sophie had thought the two of them would fall back into being friends instantly as they were so many years ago. Instead of thinking about it further, Sophie crouched down to George, Emma, and Mary’s eye level, “Hello there, darlings. My name is Sophie.”

“She’s your older sister. She went away to school for a long while, but she is going to help take care of you,” John spoke and the children regarded Sophie with instant fondness, but limited understanding. Sophie rose from her position and gently touched Henry’s hand as he was nestled in Ada’s arms.

“They are lovely, John. We’ll be a happy family,” Sophie said.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Polly cut Ada off before her deliberate roll of her eyes could turn into a nasty remark, “Now, I’ll show Sophie to her room if you both will watch the little ones.”

Polly led Sophie up the stairs to the second floor of the house, “This is my room here, and across the hall is Ada. There’s the washroom and a small room for Arthur when he needs it,” she pointed to the various old doors before taking the next creaky flight of stairs. “And you’ll be in this room here next to the nursery where the children all sleep. John’s room is across the hall. Tommy has a room down the hall when he wants it as well. He and Arthur both live down on Garrison Lane. This is your home now, so you may do with your room what you wish.”

“Thank you for taking me in like this,” Sophie said when Polly led her into her new room, which was spacious but comfortable looking. Polly returned only with a wary smile, knowing that Tommy still wasn’t fully on board, “Maybe you’d like to unpack and get to know the children before dinner? 

“Yes…but about Ada…”

“Don’t take it personally. She’s love struck with some boy and every moment she spends in this house is a moment not with him. She’s only a year older than you and I’m sure you’ll still find plenty in common,” Polly tried her best to sound convincing before she left Sophie and headed down to the kitchen to begin dinner. As nice as that was for Polly to say, Sophie doubted it.

**~o0o~  
**

“What’s all this Pol?” Tommy asked when he walked through the office to the kitchen of the Shelby home later that night. The table was set for more people than usual and she had brought out the nice china.

“A dinner to welcome Sophie back home. I invited Nipper and Curly but they said the Garrison was calling their name,” Polly fussed with the stew on the stove.

“As it’s calling mine,” Tommy said without expression and walked past her toward the door to the lane.

“The pub can wait for all of you. This is a family dinner,” her voice showed no room for argument and Tommy took off his hat as Ada came into the kitchen from upstairs, not wanting to be there either.

“She’s horrible with the children. Doesn’t even know how to change a nappie,” Ada lit a cigarette and Tommy waved her closer for the light, putting one between his lips as well.

“She’ll learn, Ada,” Polly snapped at her, “I didn’t raise the lot of you to act like this. From today on that girl is family and will be treated as such.”

“She’s not family,” Tommy shook his head. He was happy with the way things were going for the Blinders. The last thing he needed was to feel responsible for a girl that knew nothing about their way of life.

“I don’t have a drop of Shelby blood in my veins but you wouldn’t dare tell me I’m not family, Thomas. End of discussion,” Polly was thankful when Arthur stumbled into the room. She didn’t care if he was drunk, at least he would be a happier presence than Tommy and Ada. He eagerly took his place at the head of the table and little Finn, who had followed him in, took his seat right next to his big brother.

“So where’s the guest of honor, then?” Arthur looked around as Polly started to ladle stew into their bowls and fill their glasses with beer.

“Washing up the children with John,” Ada took a long drag of her cigarette as she shared a look with Tommy. Her brother’s mouth quirked up at the very edge, understanding her thoughts.

“Oh, this is great Pol,” John grinned at the dinner as he came down the stairs with George and the twins. Little Henry was resting in the nursery, and Sophie followed her adoptive father. She had changed into a simple light pink silk dress, which she realized stood out starkly against the table full of black and tweed. John pulled out her chair for her and she helped the girls and George into their seats, overwhelmed at all of the eyes on her.

“Let’s pray before the food gets cold,” Polly said and for a small moment Sophie felt comfortable. She had been raised Catholic, like the Shelbys, and prayed, crossing herself before taking her first bite of food. When the warming stew slipped down her throat she was thankful for a home-cooked meal. She had been fed well at school, but it was nothing compared to a family meal.

“You grew up into a pretty bird, didn’t ya?” Arthur looked over at Sophie, “How old are ya now?”

“Seventeen,” Sophie tried not to blush. It was her first time really looking at Arthur. He was still as tall as she remembered from years ago, even sitting down, and his face was thin and weathered, but nothing close to old in her eyes. He was the only Shelby with a mustache and it suited him quite well.

“I remember yous and Ada running around barefoot in the mud together. And now look at ya, a London girl,” Arthur smirked but it was good-natured, unlike the way Ada had eyed her earlier.

“I don’t see how Small Heath has much to offer a cosmopolitan girl like yourself, Miss Davies,” Tommy chimed in. He was careful to keep his distance in addressing her. Like Arthur, he too had memories of Sophie the summer she lived with John and Martha. She had been a vibrant young thing and her and Ada were inseparable. But she wasn’t that girl anymore. He looked her over slowly across the table.

Tommy wasn’t sure about her, and one of the reasons for that was how he felt looking at her. Sophie had been a slip of a thing at eleven, but all girls grew up into women. He just hadn’t expected her to be beautiful. To him, Sophie had been a summer before change, a check every month for her tuition, and the name on letters John used to write as his hands shook in the trenches every time there was a noise. She hadn’t been real for years, but now she sat across from him with the doe-eyed innocence of youth that Tommy lost so long ago.

“I came for John and for all of you. That’s what Small Heath has to offer me,” Sophie told him, her bright green eyes meeting his blue ones and Polly smirked to herself as she sipped her beer.

Tommy couldn’t completely fault John for this decision. The man needed help with the brats already fussing in the chairs next to Sophie and Tommy needed John without distractions. But as he watched her try and feed broth to little Mary he just couldn’t get comfortable with the idea of her. Her heart shaped face and pale skin was only marked with a smattering of light freckles over the bridge of her nose and he watched her full pink lips open in encouragement for the child when the broth was swallowed down. Tommy already had enough trouble keeping track of Ada. He knew she was running around with some man, but with as pretty as Sophie was, he didn’t have time to look after her too.

“Fair enough,” Tommy said and turned the conversation elsewhere, to how Danny Whiz-Bang, Tommy’s war mate, had gotten into a fight down at the Garrison earlier. Sophie wiped Emma’s mouth. War had changed Tommy. It was plainly evident in his eyes, and she wondered how much France had changed John and Arthur as well. But beyond Tommy and Ada, she had received a warmer welcome than she had anticipated.

**~o0o~**

“Where’ve you been?” Polly asked Tommy when she heard the door to the house unlock and then close a second later, punctuated only by the sound the soles of his boots made on the wood floor. It was one in the morning and everyone else was in bed. She was sitting by the fire with some clothes that needed mending.

“None of your concern,” Tommy pulled up a chair besides her after pouring himself some dark rum. He had a hell of a night at the Garrison, which culminated in him ending up at Lizzie Stark’s lodgings and paying her seven quid for a blowjob. Lizzie was one of the few true secrets he had in this town and he had planned on going home and falling asleep after a few drags on his pipe until he didn’t regret it anymore, but he still had so much on his mind.

“You want to talk about Sophie, don’t you?” Polly kept her stiches neat as she got right to the point.

“She’s not made for a life like this, Pol, and you know it,” Tommy took a long drink from his glass and stared into the fire. 

“We are going to tell her about the Blinders and she’ll be one of us. She’s smart enough to keep books and help out with the business. She’s a blessing, Thomas. To John and the children, and to us,” Polly tied a knot with the thread and put the sewing down.

“She won’t last in this town,” he sighed.

“Then we make sure she does.”


	2. The Nightmares Don't Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie settles into her new life in Small Heath and learns more about the Blinders and Tommy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Any feedback is welcome! Enjoy!

“ _Ada_ …”

Ada’s mouth pressed hard against his, but he never stopped moaning. She could feel his body tighten, ready for release. She needed him to hold out longer. These moments had to be rushed for so many reasons, but that never did her any favors. 

“Ada, I can’t love, I’m…” the apology was lost on his lips as he came, thrusting wildly inside her. The strokes almost took her to the edge, but when he faded, the withdrawal of her pleasure left her gasping and annoyed.

“Fuck, Freddie.” Ada didn’t leave her place on his lap as she brushed a strand of hair, damp from her sweat, out of her face. They were nestled in the shadow under a bridge over the Cut. He was seated with her straddling him, her knees braced against the mud.

“Sorry.” Freddie Thorne kissed her forehead and then both of her cheeks. “Just a few more weeks’ work at the factory and I’ll have enough for my own room and we’ll have plenty of time to be alone then. No more sneaking around.”

Ada finally got off of him and he tucked himself back into his trousers. “You’re a sight. Muddy knees and a dirty dress. What will Polly say?”

Ada only smirked in response as she offered Freddie a hand and he took it and stood up, just as muddy. She was sure she could sneak back in the house without a second look. She had been doing it for six months yet. Freddie kept hold of her hand and pulled her into his arms as he leaned against the damp underbelly of the bridge.

“So I heard there’s been a new addition to the Shelby clan.”

“What a romantic thing to say. Right after you fuck me in the mud. You are a prince, Freddie.” Ada laughed and shook her head.

“And you’re an angel, Ada. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

“Why do you want to know about her? She’s nothing.” Ada looked away from him and down the river. Since Sophie had arrived, Ada had made a point to speak with her as little as possible.

“Because she’s been in your house for three days without you so much as mentioning her. We tell each other everything, Ada. Always have.” Freddie touched her chin to pull her gaze back to him. “Boys in the Shankhill said there’s a pretty girl that’s been coming out of your place. So who is she? John found himself another?”

“In a way.” Ada was hesitant, but there was no point in hiding it. She simply felt that telling him about her would mean that she was really staying and she had honestly thought Tommy would have sent her back to London by now. “Do you remember Sophie Davies?" 

“It’s Sophie?” Freddie’s eyebrows furrowed in disbelief and then his mouth broke into a wide grin. “Well, fuck me!”

Ada slapped him playfully against his chest. “I just did you bastard!”

“I remember that summer she was here. It was the summer I fell in love with you and look where we are now.” He hugged her close again. It had never been anything serious with Ada until Freddie came back from the war. But even though she had only been thirteen that summer, he still followed her around with Tommy as if his life depended on being near her. He told himself it was like the love a brother has for a sister because he didn’t have any of his own, but every subsequent year made the lie he told himself harder to believe. “Tommy must be happy she’s back.”

“Why would he be? He’s just as bothered about it as I am.” Ada pulled Freddie closer to the Cut to walk along the water.

“Tommy adored her.” Freddie shrugged. He remembered it so well because it was the summer before he and Tommy went to war. A time when they were still best friends and shared the same hopes and ideals. The war changed both of them and turned them into bitter enemies. But Freddie held onto those memories in hope that one day it could be like that again.

Every day that summer Freddie would meet up with Tommy and they would keep a watchful eye on Ada and Sophie as the girls ran around Small Heath. Tommy always said it was because Polly asked him to, but Freddie knew that was shite. Freddie followed Ada around because he loved her and before Sophie moved in with John and his wife, Tommy merely kept an eye out for his little sister when he could, but would never have followed her around what with his little gang starting to take shape. He had to have felt something more than just responsibility for Sophie, even if she was much too young for him.

Ada laughed. “He just put up with her because she was my friend.”

“And why can’t she be your friend now? Freddie smirked as he watched his lovers’ face darken. “You could use a friend.”

She knew he was right; girls in Small Heath weren’t exactly keen on going to the pub with someone who had Blinders for brothers. Sophie had been her last friend that had meant something to her. Now her only true confidant was Freddie.

“She’s changed.” Ada said, noticing how bitter she sounded. “She’s just this priss who thinks she’s better than everyone because she got a fucking education at some school in London.”

“You’re jealous Ada.” Freddie squeezed her hand. “Yeah she went to London, but she didn’t get to stay with her family like you did. You never said you wanted to go to school. It doesn’t make her better than you because she did.”

Ada nodded as their walk came to an end. She chose silence because she knew she wouldn’t hear the end of it if she agreed with him on this. It was high time she got home and she knew Freddie was leading a rally with the BSA factory workers soon.

“Maybe, Freddie. Now be careful tonight.” She rose up on her toes to kiss him goodbye.

“Clean up your knees, Ada. You look like you’ve been fucking in the mud.”

**~o0o~**

Sophie struggled to keep a smile on her face as she ushered the children into the kitchen and closed the door behind her. The room was empty, but she could hear the familiar hum of activity behind the closed double doors leading to the offices.

“George can you put the bread on the table? Finn can you take them all upstairs to wash up?” Sophie beseeched the youngest Shelby who had accompanied her to the bakery.

“What’s wrong, Sophie?” Finn asked when he saw her wipe her eyes. Her emotions were starting to get the best of her. He shoved his hands in the pockets of the suit trousers that were still a little too big for him.

“Just something in my eye, now go on…” she nodded towards the stairs and Finn led George, Mary, and Emma up to the washroom. Sophie sat two-year-old Henry on the long, wooden dining table and started to cut the fresh, crusty bread she had picked up for dinner. She pulled back the dusty lace curtains to look out the window over the sink to Watery Lane. Everything was covered in two inches of black mud and dismal grey. London had been grey and dirty, but not like this.

“Soph?” John walked over to her after closing the office doors behind him. He had taken to shortening her name in an attempt to be more familial with her, but it only made her feel even younger than she was and he anger flared again. He gently turned her around by the elbow so she could face him. He knew something was wrong the second he looked in her eyes.

“I didn’t expect anyone in here for an hour more. The other children are washing up…” Sophie couldn’t look at him. Her heart ached for London because as nice as John was to her, he was lying to her. She sniffled and wiped her eyes again even though she had been trying to hold it in.

“Why are you crying, love? No need to cry. I’ll take you for a pint at the Garrison tonight eh? How’s that sound to ya?” John did his best to make her smile but she couldn’t. He was doing his best, but it wasn’t enough.

“Why does no one look at me when I walk down the lane? Why do they whisper and go out of their way to keep their distance from the children and I? Why do I never have to pay for bread and for fruit? Everyone else has to pay, so I want to know why.” Sophie was confused and her voice began to get louder with each question. This wasn’t Small Heath as she had left it.

“You’re a pretty girl, that’s why. Of course you dun hafta pay for nothin’.” John smiled and touched her cheek, but she didn’t believe him. Another lie. It made her tears stop as her anger took over once again.

“I’ll go back to London.” Sophie wasn’t sure if she meant it as a threat or an offer, but either way she hoped it would prompt the truth.

“You aren’t happy here?” John was instantly concerned and mentally blamed every member of his family. He cared for Sophie dearly and didn’t want to see that happen.

“I’m happy with you and the children, but I know that Tommy and Aunt Polly are talking about me when I walk into a room and they go silent. You all whisper around me like you can’t trust me hearing anything and now the whispers on the streets the last few days. I don’t want to stay where I’m not wanted.” Sophie felt relieved to finally speak her mind. John stood next to her, silent and thinking for a few moments before scooping his youngest boy up in his arms.

“Before the others come in from the office, let’s go talk upstairs.” John sighed and started toward the stairs. After setting Henry down in his crib, John led Sophie into his room and closed the door.

“Are you angry with me?” Sophie asked. She had raised her voice to him and didn’t know how he would react.

John shook his head. “Soph, what do you think you know? Because the two of us gotta get some things straightened out.” He sat down on his bed and patted the quilt for her to sit next to him.

“Whatever you do in that office isn’t legal is it?” She looked into his eyes, afraid of the answer.

“No love. It’s not legal. But it makes us money and it isn’t nothing that Billy Kimber hasn’t done.” He looked at Sophie and smiled. She wouldn’t be able to fathom what he had done since he last saw her.

“I want to know everything. I don’t think that it’s fair that I’ve come here and been lied to!”

“No one’s lied to you, Soph. Tommy just doesn’t want you involved, that’s all.” John had many talks with his brother about Sophie since she arrived and each had ended in an argument.

“Why does he hate me?” Sophie bit her lip. Tommy had barely spoken to her the last few days and when his intense blue eyes did fall on her, they weren’t friendly.

“When he gets his mind on somethin’, there’s no tellin’ him otherwise, ya know?” John sighed. “He feels responsible for Ada and he doesn’t like that she’s not involved with the business anymore as our sister. I don’t think he wants this life for you. But he doesn’t hate you.”

“I wouldn’t have come if I wanted to be protected, John. I could have stayed in London at the school, maybe taught one day, and stayed sheltered.” Sophie was shocked to realize how truly privileged she had been in London after only a few days in Small Heath. Crime and prostitution were things she read about but never lived amongst. Her young adult life had been spent in the four walls of her school, with only other girls, church on Wednesdays and Sundays, etiquette lessons, and studying. In the last hour she had seen a whore and a drunken man stumbling down the street and Finn hadn’t even batted an eye. “I need you to tell me what this family does if I am ever going to feel a part of it.”

John’s heart and common sense warred with each other for a moment. He trusted her and that was enough for him but he would have to deal with Tommy later. “We call ourselves the Peaky Blinders. Finn will grow up to be one. George and Henry too.” John removed his tweed cap and placed it in Sophie’s hands, pointing to the razor blades carefully stitched under the brim. He watched as her green eyes widened in understanding. “But Ada and Polly and the rest of the boys…Nipper, Danny, Lovelock, Scudboat, Uncle Charlie…all of em’s Blinders too. Hell, my little girls are Blinders, so why can’t you be?”

Sophie smiled as her fingers lightly touched the cool metal blades. “And everyone is afraid of you.”

“This town _respects_ us. That’s why you didn’t have to pay for bread, love. The businesses in this town pay us and nothing bad ever happens to them. No coppers when things happen. That kinda thing. We’ll make sure everyone gets to know ya and you’ll be treated like a princess. Just like Ada and Polly, alright?” John took her hand.

“But, what exactly do you do?” Sophie felt conflicted about everything he was saying. He was her only family. This house was now her home. But doing things that were illegal went against everything she had been taught.

“We take bets for the horse races in the office. But we stack the odds in our favor, if you know what I mean.” John winked. “There is this family, the Lee’s, that do it too, and of course Billy Kimber and his gang. We are trying to establish ourselves among them. Higher stakes mean more money for all of us. You won’t want for anything Soph. Starting next week, I’ll make sure you have an allowance like all the Blinders do, on top of your pay from me for taking care of the children.”

“I don’t work as a Blinder, so I can’t accept that.” Sophie shook her head. She really didn’t want to spend dirty money if she didn’t have to.

“Well, Polly thinks your schooling could be a real help in the office. It’s just a matter of bringing Tommy around. You could work a little when you aren’t with the children and earn it if it makes you feel better.” He suggested but she still didn’t agree. Even though she knew they had all kept something from her, she hadn’t expected it to be an illegal race-fixing scheme. He patted her lightly on the knee. “Think about it. I’ll see you downstairs for dinner.”

As John walked back downstairs and found Tommy shooting back some whiskey as he sat at the table with his free hand clenched, he decided to put off any mention of Sophie working as a Blinder for the next day. He didn’t need another argument.

**~o0o~  
**

Tommy reeled as he took a second drag from his opium pipe and rolled onto his back on his bed in the house. He hadn’t left his office till well after midnight and decided not to go back to his place, so he found his way upstairs and tried to relax himself in the only way that worked lately.

He had asked for four motorcycles and ended up with a crate of numbered military weapons bound for Libya because his men had pulled the wrong crate off the barge. _Fucking idiots_. And now he was sitting on these weapons until he could figure out what to do with them. It would have to be tomorrow, he thought, as he took another drag that he hoped would send him to sleep.

Sophie jolted upright in her bed when she heard a cry in the night. She quickly wrapped a robe around her small frame and headed into the room next door, but found all of the children sound asleep. The next time she heard it, there was not a chance it could be mistaken for a cry of a child.

It was tortured and raspy. She put an ear to John’s door and ruled him out. There was nothing but faint snoring. Then the cry pierced the silence one more time and she couldn’t believe no one else was awake.

It was loudest this time, and coming from the room Tommy used at the end of the hall. “Tommy? Are you okay?” Sophie asked from her side of the door to no answer. She knocked lightly. Nothing but another pleading scream. He sounded hurt and she panicked.

She turned the handle of the door and stumbled through, surprised when it gave way to her touch. Tommy was thrashing in the twisted, sweaty sheets on his small bed. The muscles in his neck were taut and the noises he made frightened her.

“Tommy, please stop! Let me help you!” She tried to keep her voice quiet, and she reached out to touch his arm.

“ _Get off me_!”

He gasped as if he hadn’t been breathing for minutes and the rush of air caused him to choke and cough. His pupils were so big she could barely see the blue of his irises when he looked up at her and sat up in the mess of his bed. There was sweat dripping down the planes of his bare chest. Sophie backed away and recoiled her hand. His lamp was still on and his room was hazy from whatever was left burning on his bedside table and it made her eyes water.

“You were…screaming…” she spoke, apologizing as he stared at her.

“Get the fuck out of my room.” His voice was a whisper now and it is more terrifying to Sophie than when he was shouting.

“Tommy, I was just trying to make sure you were alright…”

“ _Now_.”


	3. Picture Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Polly wants Sophie to work for the Blinders, but a new copper in town and trouble at the theater prevent her from celebrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! You've made it this far so thank you! I really appreciate you taking the time to read!

When Sophie came downstairs with John’s children and Finn for breakfast, the chatter that she had heard from upstairs instantly disappeared and three pairs of eyes fell on her. She was afraid of this. The one thing that she had feared had come true—Tommy didn’t look at her.

“Come on. Into the office.” Tommy said gruffly, sticking his hands in his pockets and at his orders, Arthur and John followed him through the double doors and into the betting den. Sophie kept her head down, afraid that Polly would be angry with her, and went about settling the younger children for breakfast while Finn buttered some toast for himself.

“He has the nightmares all of the time. I should have warned you.” Polly sighed, turning from looking out the kitchen window and smiling softly at the sight of Sophie spoon-feeding Henry. “At least he took it out on me and not you. It’s not like it is something to be bloody ashamed of. All of us hear it. John and Arthur get them too, sometimes. _Men and their pride_.” She rolled her eyes and Sophie laughed, the corner of her lips finally upturning. This woman had been on her side since she arrived, and had treated her kindly as a child as well. For that she would always be thankful. 

“I was just frightened that he was hurt. I won’t make the same mistake twice.” Sophie promised and wiped Henry’s chin as he happily gurgled.

“He isn’t used to people doing something without wanting anything in return. But he’ll come around.” Polly sat down at the table with all of them. Everyone had been telling her that Tommy will ‘come around’ in one way or another, but Sophie didn’t see that happening. “While we have a moment alone, I wanted to talk to you about the business.”

Sophie stiffened but nodded. “I’m not going to say anything about what John told me. You are my family and…”

Polly put a hand on her shoulder. The twins, George and Finn finished their toast and she told them to go out front and play for a few minutes while Sophie finished feeding Henry. “Don’t work yourself up, no one thinks you will. John and I trust you and I’ve been thinking about this since the moment he told us you were coming to stay. I’m the treasurer and I’ve taught myself over the years, but we need help. We can’t keep a decent secretary or accountant. They slip through our hands like water…once they catch a whiff of something not right, they leave. The coppers ignore them of course, but we are left short-handed. We have the boys taking bets and doing what they need to do…but none of them can write worth a damn and the books are a mess.”

“I took maths at school. And I know shorthand and I can type.” A smile appeared on Sophie’s face, “If you explain to me what things are, I know I can do it. I’ll be honest. I don’t like that everything is illegal, but I promise I will help.”

“Well, you see…we are trying to work towards some legitimacy. The boys and I have talked in the last few months and we want to try and get at least ten percent of what is passing through here legally within the year. With your education, I think we can do it faster. You’ll be working for making this business a respectable one.” Polly was hopeful and it made Sophie feel better. She didn’t feel completely all right with what the Shelbys did, but if it could change, she wanted to be part of that.

“And what about the children? And what about Tommy?” Sophie asked, gently smoothing down the cowlick on Henry’s head.

“As treasurer, I make the decisions about who we pay what, and as far as I am concerned, you are now employed, so I will tell Tommy, but the decision has been made.” Polly smiled smugly, “And as for the children, we have enough to pay for a nanny. I could even pay Ada to watch them. Hell knows she doesn’t do anything else all day but run around with some boy.”

Sophie shook her head, “I promised John I would help with the children. He’s busy and they are _my_ siblings. You may not want someone outside of the family to do your accounts, but do you want a stranger watching the babies?”

Polly sighed. “You are a good girl, Sophie. And clever. The Blinders will start you off slowly until we can find a solution, but I’d like to have you in the office tomorrow.” She stood up and walked toward the doors to the office. It was almost opening time.

Resting Henry on her hip in her arms, Sophie walked outside to watch over George, Mary, and Emma, who were playing in the lane. Finn was standing by the wall with his friend Isiah, the pastor’s son. Maybe one of these children will turn out innocent, Sophie hoped to herself.

**~o0o~  
**

“This is the second time this week, Tommy.”

“What are you implying Lizzie?” Tommy shrugged on his vest and did up the buttons, not looking at her. He couldn’t bring himself to.

“Not implying anything, just stating a fact.” Lizzie slipped her dress back over her head. It was rare for Tommy to come to her even once a month lately, let alone twice a week. Something had clearly been bothering him when he came to her door and judging by the far-away look on his face, it still was. It was even more unusual that it was noon. He had come to her in broad daylight during the lunch hour. She wanted to know why.

“Don’t fucking look at me like that, Lizzie.” Tommy snapped at her as he threw some coins on the bed and put on his hat. He knew he was being mean to the one woman that was always there for him. It didn’t matter that he paid her; he knew she was in love with him and he hated that she saw him as cruel in this moment. He felt the need to protect her and he didn’t like that she did this kind of work, not even for him. One day he would get her out of it. But it still didn’t mean he liked it when she looked at him with sympathy or wanted answers.

“Is there a woman?” There was more than a hint of jealousy in Lizzie’s voice. She grabbed the coins and put them in her purse on the dresser. He had been hard before she even touched him this time and their coupling had barely lasted a few moments. Tommy usually spent hours with her.

“No. No woman.” Tommy shook his head and opened the door of her room. It wasn’t exactly the truth, but he wasn’t about to discuss what was going on in his already racing mind. “Have a nice day.”

“Pull yourself together Tommy.” He mumbled to himself, tugging his cap low as he walked out into the sunlight

**~o0o~  
**

“Sophie, I know with ‘ow things worked out and all, I’m like an uncle to ya, but I don’t see it like that. I see it as you are me little sister. Like Ada. And as your big brother, I’ve got some advice for ya…” Arthur started as he helped Sophie out of the Napier.

“Did Tommy ask you to speak to me?” Sophie sighed. When Arthur had left the office early, found her telling a story to the children, and offered to take to her to the pictures while Polly took over with the babes, she had been delighted for the break. Now she knew it was too good to be true as he offered her his arm.

“Well…” Arthur scratched his head, “ _No_. But my advice is that it’s the best if you leave him be. He’s been angry all day at work and I know what happened innt your fault…” Arthur was truthfully shocked at how his brother had dressed them all down about Sophie coming into his room. He was acting stranger everyday and Arthur didn’t want poor Sophie to get caught up in all that.

“From what I’ve seen so far, the rest of you act like he’s the one in charge.” Sophie squinted up at Arthur in the fading daylight as they approached the busy theater. When she had first met the Shelbys, it was clear to everyone that Arthur was in charge, but it seems in her time away something had changed.

“Oh, love, that’s not it at all. I’m Arthur fucking Shelby, and everyone knows that.” He smiled back at her and proved his point as the crowd queuing around the ticket office parted as they walked up. Whispers of ‘ _Oh…it’s a Shelby!_ ’ and ‘ _Excuse me, Mr. Shelby’ didn’t_ escape Sophie’s ears as they walked right into the pictures without paying. Sophie still couldn’t get used to this. She saw more fear than respect in the crowds’ eyes and it wasn’t hard to see why. Arthur was tall and gruff and muscular. His mustache made sure that even if he was smiling, you wouldn’t easily see it, and she kept her eyes straight ahead as they walked into the dark, empty theater. She only knew one side of him: well-meaning and protective. What other sides did those people out there know?

“You see, they let us Blinders in before the ordinary people. I mostly take girls in here to uh….” A hint of blush crept up his neck, “John wouldn’t want me sayin’ things like that to you. But I thought I’d show my new sister a good night out, eh?”

They took two prime seats right in the middle of the theater but barely got a chance to settle into the film when the swinging doors burst open and coppers started coming down the aisle, yelling for him.

“Arthur…” Sophie stood up and he put his hand on her arm.

“Stay here, Sophie. Wait until it’s settled down then wait by the car, alright? Don’t make a fuss.” Arthur instructed her and he took a few swings at the coppers when they tried to touch him. She felt helpless standing there watching as they dragged Arthur up the aisle, him screaming and cussing the whole way.

**~o0o~  
**

“I should have told you earlier, Pol, _I know_ , but I had to make a decision about it.” Tommy looked away from his Aunt and took a long sip of the whiskey in his glass. She kept glancing at the clock. It was taking Sophie and Arthur much too long to get back from the pictures.

“Well you made the wrong one. You need to get rid of those guns _now_. Where the hell are you keeping them?”

“Uncle Charlie’s yard. They’ll be safe there for now.” Tommy lit yet another cigarette. Polly asked too many questions when he couldn’t even answer the ones he was asking himself.

“For now? Those are government weapons. Numbered, Thomas. You can’t sell those. Dump them in the Cut for all I care, just make sure they aren’t associated with us.” Polly tapped her fingers erratically against the table as she studied Tommy’s frustratingly impassive face.

“An opportunity will present itself, Pol, I’m sure of it. And we’ll be all the richer for it.” Tommy ended the discussion as he tapped his cigarette against the ashtray between the two of them. “Why did you let Arthur take her to the pictures if you are so bloody worried about it?” He caught her check the time again. Dinner had come and gone without them and Ada and John were squabbling in the next room over the children.

“Arthur wanted to take her. She deserved a treat anyway.” Polly told him the partial truth. She had been thankful for it because it had gotten them both away from the house so that she could tell him the decision she had made on her own, which, in her opinion, was much smarter than hiding stolen government guns in a shipyard.

“A treat eh? A fucking holiday after a few days of running after the children?” Tommy looked up at the ceiling and exhaled. “What was it you wanted to tell me about her?”

“I know what you are going to say, but I’ve hired her as the Blinders’ secretary and accountant. She’s a bright girl. John thinks it’s a great idea…” Polly tried her best to sell it, but his face remained cold.

“Yeah, course he does. It’s his little orphan. _No Polly_. She can take care of the children if she absolutely has to stay.”

Polly pursed her lips. “ _Has_ to stay? Is there something the rest of us aren’t seeing because she’s a perfectly charming young woman and all she wants to do is help. She made a mistake coming into your room but her intentions were _nothing_ but good. Have you grown so cold that you don’t see the good in people anymore?”

“She’s going to be a burden. And I’ve said it before, she doesn’t understand us. I don’t care how you and John explain it. It is too much work for her.” Tommy was throwing out every excuse he could think of. Sophie working as a Blinder didn’t set well with him.

“Ada and I managed the entire business when you boys went off to war. I think she can handle it. Besides, you made your decision, so I am allowed to make mine. She starts tomorrow.” Polly raised an eyebrow, daring him to challenge her on it but before he could, the kitchen door banged open and Sophie walked in, trying her best to support Arthur with her petite frame. He was bloodied and groaning and it drew the attention of John and Ada from the living room and Ada immediately hurried the children up the stairs so they wouldn’t see their uncle like that.

“What the fuck happened?” John asked, taking over Sophie’s position under Arthur’s shoulder and helping him sit down. Polly grabbed a wet cloth and the bottle of whiskey sitting on the table, handing the latter to Arthur and he took a swig from it.

“Copper…” Arthur winced as Polly dabbed the congealing blood from his forehead. He held his wrist as if it was broken and there were deep cuts on his face. Sophie hurried to the sink to wet another cloth, her face pale from the harrowing ride home with Arthur bleeding all over the car and screaming like someone deranged.

“We had just sat down to watch the film when some coppers came in and took Arthur away. I waited by the car, like he told me to, but it was a few hours before he found me, and he looked like this.” Sophie told them.

“Arthur, listen to me.” Tommy gently hit his brother’s cheek with his palm to keep his eyes open. “Who did this to you?”

“Some copper sent by fucking Churchill. Accused us of having some stolen guns after he bashed in my pretty fuckin’ face. Now Sophie won’t wanta be seen with me, isn’t that right, love?” Arthur groaned again as Sophie cleaned up a particularly deep cut on his left cheek.

“That’s right, Arthur, now hold still.” Sophie’s hand shook and Polly gently eased the cloth out of it and told her to sit down as she shot Tommy a look of warning.

“Well, what did he look like? What was his name?” Tommy couldn’t think of anything else but this man. He didn’t expect trouble about the guns this quickly.

“He was fuckin’ gray. Had a cane. _Fuck that hurts Pol_. Insulted me intelligence. Said I wasn’t the one in charge of the Blinders. Now where the fuck would he get that idea from?” Arthur glared up at his brother. “What is he talking about with these guns? I dun know about any guns. And that’s what I said. And he told me the Blinders and him could work together to find out who took ‘em. I said I’d think about it and that we’d have a family meeting and vote on it.”

“Unbelievable.” Tommy ran a hand through his hair as he turned away from his brother.

“Thomas…” Polly’s voice was sharper this time.

“We will not be voting on anything right now, do you understand? We’ll discuss it tomorrow.” Tommy’s eyes darted to Sophie and she was acutely aware that what he really meant was that they’d discuss it away from her.

“No. I wanna know about these guns, because you know somethin’ Tommy. And that somethin’ almost got my Sophie hurt. They were just going to go to the pictures. The cops are on our fuckin’ payroll, even in the city, and this shouldn’t have happened.” John put one hand on Sophie’s shoulder.

“Your Sophie, eh?” Tommy shook his head. “Arthur got the shite beat out of him and you are worried about her?”

“Thomas, she was left alone without a clue where Arthur was. They could have found her and hurt her too. If they would have known she was ours…” Polly couldn’t even imagine the outcome of that.

“Good thing she’s not eh? And she won’t ever be. Good thing the coppers thought she was just a whore of yours brother.” Tommy grabbed the bottle of whiskey out of Arthur’s hands and John looked ready to punch him the second ‘whore’ left his lips.

“She _is_ ours Tommy, don’t say things like that.” Arthur grumbled, confused.

“Why do you hate me?” Sophie stood up from her chair. It was the question at the forefront of her mind and had been for days. She couldn’t sit there a second longer and let him say she didn’t belong.

No one moved for a moment, not even Tommy. He seemed to be considering what to say to her. But even after searching for the words, he couldn’t explain it to her or anyone in that room exactly how he felt. “Arthur, get yourself cleaned up. The rest of you, off to bed. We’ll discuss the guns in the morning.”


	4. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie makes it clear to Tommy that she will stay in Small Heath and he struggles to work through his feelings as he neglects the Blinders.

~o0o~

No one moved for a moment, not even Tommy. He seemed to be considering what to say to her. But even after searching for the words, he couldn’t explain it to her or anyone in that room exactly how he felt. “Arthur, get yourself cleaned up. The rest of you, off to bed. We’ll discuss the guns in the morning.”

Arthur heaved himself up from his chair and shot a glare at Tommy that was hardly intimidating coming from his set of shiners. Polly followed him up the stairs to help make him comfortable even though that was clearly a lost cause.

“Tommy…” John looked at his brother and then at Sophie, who had her arms crossed and her jaw set.

“I said to bed, both of you.” Tommy gestured with his hand toward the stairs like they were being insolent little children. John caved quickly, mostly out of not wanting to deal with his brother when he got like this. But Sophie didn’t move an inch.

“I’m not leaving until he answers my question.” She said to John when he gave her a pleading look to hurry up and follow him. She didn’t know where her boldness was coming from; she didn’t exactly make it a habit of disrespecting her elders or anyone that took care of her. When Tommy didn’t respond, John just shook his head and headed upstairs, sure that his adopted daughter would follow once Tommy spoke again.

“So…” Tommy turned to Sophie with his hands in his coat pockets, “Polly tells me you are going to start working for the Blinders tomorrow? Not only as our secretary, but an accountant as well. And only seventeen. Quite an accomplishment.”

The sarcasm in his voice was so heavy it made Sophie’s fists clench by her sides. She hadn’t done a single thing to anger him beyond just existing. So many years ago she thought they had been close, but now she didn’t recognize the man in front of her. “Aunt Polly trusts me. In fact, everyone trusts me but you. I’m trying to help!”

“Help? You think coming here is helping?” He walked over to the table and put his hands on the edge, bending over until his forehead nearly touched the wood, “You are what we call a liability. Arthur has you thinking the Blinders get to do whatever the hell they want around town. John has you believing you are coming into the family business. And Pol, she just thinks you are an educated little angel here to clean up our books. No one has told it to you straight. Not yet.”

“You aren’t bad people, Tommy. You aren’t going to be able to scare me into getting on a train back to London, no matter how hard you try.”

“But we are bad people, Sophie. I’m a very, very bad person.” Tommy straightened and looked her in the eye, “The nightmare you saw me having? I have the same one most nights. I used to be a tunneler in France. Every second I feared for my life. My hands shook with every pile of dirt I moved. I thought about, in detail, what it would feel like to be blown up. And when you spend that much time becoming numb to death, you don’t so much mind killing people. It doesn’t bother you anymore because you don’t fear dying yourself.”

Sophie’s eyes grew steadily wider as she listened to him explain this to her without so much as one emotional inflection in his voice. It was as plain as day to him, and she could barely fathom it.

“People die in Small Heath. In Birmingham. Because of us. It’s not just about horses. It’s about protecting what we have at all costs. Ada walks a fine line on compromising what we have on a daily basis, and she’s my sister. I don’t owe it to you to protect you. You aren’t blood. And look at you…” Tommy’s eyes moved up and down her body. He tried not to let them linger; he just wanted to prove a point.

“Is that why you hate me? The way I look?” Sophie’s eyebrows knit in confusion and he laughed. Of course she would be naively self-conscious; how could he not have known? And there was no point in lying to her.

“You are beautiful, Sophie. And I can’t protect you. There are plenty of men in this town who will want to take advantage of you, and even if they don’t know who you are right away, they will find out. And they will use you. And we could all get hurt from that. Liability.”

“Oh, so you just hate me because you think I’m going to go ‘round spreading my legs like Ada does. You haven’t even bothered to have a proper chat with me. To get to know me again. And you think you have the right to judge me?” Anger welled up inside of her. He had no right to shame her prematurely for things she hadn’t done. 

“A proper fucking chat” Tommy grinned. “How fucking precious. Sophie, I have no interest in getting to know you. I didn’t know you when you were twelve, and I do not planning on knowing you now.” He ran a hand through his short hair, tiring quickly of the conversation.

“We were friends. You, Freddie, Ada, and I. What happened?” Sophie only had good memories of that summer spent in Small Heath years ago. Had she forgotten something? She and Ada were always smiling and enjoying the sticky hot days and Tommy and Freddie were never far behind. Now Ada wouldn’t speak to her and Tommy wanted her gone. It was enough to make Sophie rethink those dear memories. 

“You are wrong. We weren’t friends. I was twenty-four and the last thing I wanted was to follow you and Ada around, but Polly insisted. That’s it.” Lying came easily for Tommy. Things had been complicated that summer. He had felt things he shouldn’t have, and so did Freddie. But circumstances changed so quickly and he never thought he would be standing in front of a ghost from his past. “I can make arrangements for you to have a comfortable life back in London. My own money, not John’s so you don’t have to worry about him. An allowance, or whatever you would like to keep you happy. Get married. Have children. Visit once a year.”

Sophie’s pink lips parted in disbelief. “I’m not going to be bribed to leave the family I have here, whether they are blood or not. No amount of money could make me. I’m staying and I will be in the office tomorrow. You don’t have to speak to me but I would appreciate if you didn’t hate me until I give you a reason to.”

Tommy was silent for a long moment and the only thing that could be heard in the kitchen was Sophie’s nervous breathing. In a way he admired her for standing up for herself, but he also was more than annoyed. She was headstrong, just like Ada. He preferred to think carefully about his actions and always planned his next move down to the last detail. But his plan that he thought would surely work had failed, and now this little sprite of a woman was here to stay. He had no choice but to change tactics quickly and he leaned closer to her.

Sophie took a deep breath when Tommy moved so that he was not even an inch from her. She could feel his shallow breath tickle the tiny blonde hairs on her neck as his mouth moved closer to her ear. “There will be absolutely no mistakes from you Sophie. You will help with the books and the bets and you will make sure John’s children stay out of trouble. You will not repeat anything you hear inside the office, you are not allowed to go out to the pub with any man other than a Blinder to protect you, and you will never come into my room again. Are we clear?”

“We are clear.” She murmured. She didn’t like some of those rules, but he was finally relenting. He stepped away from her and headed up to his room and she felt like she could breathe again.

~o0o~

Sophie woke before dawn the next morning, having barely gotten any sleep that night. Her conversation with Tommy played over and over again in her head and she was determined to prove him wrong on her first day. She had the children washed up and dressed before John had even finished shaving, and fixed them breakfast before Polly was up. There were only a few weeks until the end of summer, when the oldest children would go back to school and make things easier for her with this new job. 

Polly saw the fire in Sophie’s eyes the moment she walked into the kitchen. She wasn’t sure what Tommy and her had discussed late last night, but whatever it was, she was still here. 

“Is this alright for the office?” Sophie asked Polly. She looked more than a little self-conscious in her dress, which was made of a gorgeous cream silk with a black ribbon cinching the back. Polly reached out and touched her soft cheek and smiled. 

“Its lovely, Sophie. I’m not lying when I say you are the best dressed girl in Small Heath.” Polly held back her reservations about the dress. It was so posh and screamed London and Tommy certainly wouldn’t like it. But there was no reason to further trouble her on her first day. She would take her shopping for some simpler things later.

Sophie grinned in relief and promised her Aunt she’d be in the office in just a moment, right after she gave Henry to Ada to watch over for the morning while the other children went to play in the lane.

“Ada?” Sophie reached the second floor landing where Ada’s room was, but she heard no sign of the Shelby sister. She held onto Henry tighter. He was heavy at two-years, but wasn’t walking well on his own yet. 

Still no sound came from Ada’s room, so Sophie ventured to the end of the hall, past Arthur’s closed door where he was surely still recuperating from last night, and to the washroom. When she got closer to the cracked washroom door, she finally heard something. It didn’t take more than a second for Sophie to realize Ada was retching into the toilet.

“Are you alright?” Sophie asked, knowing full well Ada could hear her. Ada froze and held back her sobs before she threw open the door.

“I’m fine.”

“You are sick, Ada. I didn’t know. I’ll speak to Polly and maybe I can bring Henry into the office with me while you rest.” Sophie suggested, feeling horrible as she studied the puffy redness of Ada’s eyes and her pale face.

“No. It’s fine. I can take him.” She sniffled and held out her arms for Henry and Sophie reluctantly handed the boy off to her, “It’s just a touch of something. I’ll be better soon.”

It was the first real conversation the two girls had had since Sophie came back to Small Heath, and it wasn’t an argument. For that she was grateful and decided to leave well enough alone. She thanked Ada and headed back downstairs to step into the Shelby office for the first time.

~o0o~

“Tommy, I wasn’t expecting you.” Lizzie Stark said in surprise when she turned to see him taking off his coat in her open doorway. She had finished with a client ten minutes ago and was straightening up her room. After things had ended the last time he was there, she truthfully didn’t want to see him.

“I know. Do you have some time?” Tommy asked her. His voice was gruff and he felt guilty for how he left things with her, but he needed her. It was half past two in the afternoon and he was beyond tense. Sophie had come into the office a graceful, smiling vision who instantly won over the other Blinders in a way Ada never could. She was nothing but overly polite yet still managed to catch on quickly as Polly showed her the ropes. She stuck out amidst all of the black and smoke in the den, always the flash of cream in Tommy’s peripheral vision. Everything she promised she made good on: she could type and do sums more quickly than half of the boys, and more accurately. Yes, she was nervous, but she was trying and there wasn’t a single thing he could fault her on other than her fancy dress. 

When Tommy had first seen Sophie again, he wrote his feelings off as just fleeting physical attraction. She was pretty, but he could easily forget that if he focused on other things and convinced himself that she wouldn’t last in Small Heath. She was also clearly off-limits and he didn’t have time for women in any way but what Lizzie could provide. Yet the more he was around her, the more he couldn’t deny that his feelings weren’t going away. She was over a decade younger than him and far too pure for the likes of him. If he made one misstep and let his urges get the better of him, John would never forgive him and he would never forgive himself. But sometimes, his hand just wasn’t enough.

“I don’t. I have another appointment in half an hour.” Lizzie lied. She knew it wasn’t right but she had never seen him like this. She was always his girl, even if he paid her. She was the one he made promises to and stayed in bed with and talked to about a life different from this one. Now there was another woman on his mind and she was desperate to find out who it was. Nobody seemed to know. Tommy was never seen with women other than his sister or aunt. 

“I won’t be long. And I’ll pay you twice the usual.” His voice was cold. He now sounded like all of the other men that came to her for her services. It was a transaction and she was numb to it with them, but not with Tommy.

“I really can’t…” Her voice shook and she tried not to look at him but he closed the door and took off his belt and she couldn’t lie anymore. The afternoon was now his and he knew it. She slipped off the thin, silky robe covering her shoulders and moved to sit on the bed and not a second later he kissed her.

~o0o~

“Slow down there, Soph…” John laughed as Sophie finished off her first pint in the Garrison that evening. He and Henry, one of John’s best mates from the war who was a Blinder now and worked in the office, and Nipper and Curly decided to grab some pints after work and take Sophie out to show her the pub and welcome her into the business. Harry the barman was more than entertained to see the pretty young Sophie drinking some mild with the boys in their private booth and kept the whiskey flowing for the Shelbys. 

“But it was my first day of real work…” Sophie looked at John and giggled. Their relationship was quickly becoming less adoptive father and daughter and more akin to brother and sister as he was sure he would never feel comfortable watching his twin girls get tipsy. 

“You don’t drink often, do ya Sophie?” Nipper asked her. He was younger than John with cow-licked brown hair and a boyish smile.

“Absolutely not at school. And we weren’t allowed out much otherwise.” She replied. She was feeling happier than she had in a long while. The one pint had her relaxed and giddy after this first long day where everyone seemed proud of her and happy to have her there. She belonged. What did Tommy know?

“Well, we’ll have to ease you into it then.” Curly winked.

“But we’ll have you on whiskey in no time, sweetheart…” Henry laughed and John shoved his friend. John could see the way he looked at Sophie and he wasn’t quite ready for that.

Tommy walked into the Garrison after spending the rest of the afternoon into the evening with Lizzie. He swore to himself it would be the last time. He needed to get himself straight because he had other things to think about---like those damned guns and this mysterious copper. He ordered some dark rum and as Harry quickly poured him a glass, he caught sight of his brother and some of the other Blinders drinking in the small back room. In the middle of them sat Sophie, laughing at something and smiling so brightly everything else in the Garrison seemed dim in comparison. It filled Tommy’s mind with a memory of watching Ada and Sophie wade into the Cut, pulling up their dresses past their knees so that there wouldn’t be evidence for Polly to see. And he and Freddie sat on the bank of the river and smoked and waited for the right time to rush into the water and push the girls in. Sophie smiled just as brightly that day. Tommy finished the rest of his rum in one swallow and decided to head to his flat. 

~o0o~

The rest of the week passed by quickly for Sophie, even if she was exhausted by Saturday. Running after the children and working sometimes into the night was stressful, but at least she finally started to feel at home. She spent most of her time with Polly and was quickly adjusting to the fast pace in the office. Tommy didn’t speak to her much, but he hadn’t been mean either, and Arthur was finally feeling better enough to work again. Him and John’s teasing made her day brighter and she was proud to call them family.

And that family included John’s children whom she decided to take to the park next to St. Andrews that sunny Saturday morning. She had brought along a picnic lunch for them and planned on spending the afternoon there as George and Emma and Mary played. She also brought some of Henry’s toys so that he could play on the blanket with her as she kept an eye out. As the three older children ran off to play stickball, Sophie spread out her blanket and sat Henry down. She looked up at the cloudless sky and felt the warmth of the sun on her face and smiled. Arthur, Tommy, and John had gone to the fair and Ada and Polly went shopping in town, so she had a few glorious hours to spend with the children that she was growing so close to.

“SOPHIE! SOPHIE!” 

She wasn’t sure that she had heard her name at first. It sounded so distant and Henry didn’t seem to notice, but when she turned, she saw Finn and his friend Isaiah running across the park toward her.

The youngest Shelby boy was panting, hands on his knees, when he finally skidded to a stop before her. “You gotta come Sophie. Polly sent me to get you. There are some coppers in the streets settin’ fire to the pubs and smashin’ the windows in houses! You gotta hurry!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I am sorry it took so long for an update but I hope to hear your feedback!


	5. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your kind messages and kudos and reviews. You are all amazing. I am sorry this has taken so long to post but I promise I am back and there will be more soon!

“SOPHIE! SOPHIE!” 

She wasn’t sure that she had heard her name at first. It sounded so distant and Henry didn’t seem to notice, but when she turned, she saw Finn and his friend Isaiah running across the park toward her.

The youngest Shelby boy was panting, hands on his knees, when he finally skidded to a stop before her. “You gotta come Sophie. Polly sent me to get you. There are some coppers in the streets settin’ fire to the pubs and smashin’ the windows in houses! You gotta hurry!” 

Sophie found herself hardly able to take in what Finn was telling her as horrible images of what she would find when she got back to town materialized in her head. Isaiah was shouting for George, Emma, and Mary to stop playing but it was all just a dull noise to her as she clutched baby Henry to her chest. They left the blanket and picnic forgotten as Finn and Isaiah took off ahead and Sophie hurried after them as fast as she could with the children in tow.

The Marquis pub was burning and the smoke sent plumes of soot into the already dirty air. Garrison lane was littered with coppers and broken glass. They had damaged every home except for the ones belonging to Arthur and Tommy. The Garrison stood proudly at the end of its namesake lane, framed by confused, displaced families. As Sophie walked with John’s children towards Watery lane, the coppers parted to let them pass, looking down their noses with smirks on their faces. She couldn’t help but feel this was all some sort of joke and that the Shelbys were the punchline, no doubt.

She wasn’t surprised when she saw Polly standing outside of number 7, unharmed. The betting den and home were the only pieces of property untouched on Watery Lane and it gave Sophie chills.

“Inside, inside…” Polly quickly led the children into the house, including Isaiah and Finn, “You two – stay here. The rest of you, up to your room and don’t come down until I tell you to.”

Polly turned to Sophie, her eyes flashing in anger. When the woman embraced her, she sighed with the realization that the anger wasn’t for her. “I’m glad you are alright.”

“I’m glad you all are,” Polly touched Sophie’s hair as she returned the sentiment, “I don’t know where the boys are. They left for the fair early this morning and it’s past three. It is only a matter of time before people start showing up on this doorstep, livid. The specials come and raid everything but Shelby property, and all while the Peaky Blinders aren’t around. Makes us look responsible – and all because Tommy couldn’t….”

Polly was ranting quickly in a sharp, clipped voice, but the words suddenly stopped tumbling out of her mouth. She had said too much to Sophie as it was.

“Tommy couldn’t what?”

“Sophie, this doesn’t concern you. Why don’t you go upstairs with the children and…”

“What the fuck is all of this?” Both women turned as the door swung open and John, Arthur, and Tommy walked into the kitchen. “First the Lees, now the fucking street is on fire?” John looked incredulously at his older brother, but Tommy just stood with his hands in his pockets and a cigarette between his lips.

“Coppers are telling everyone you all left town to give them time to burn up all the other pubs and smash in every damn window in this city. Now why would they be doing this, Thomas?” Polly crossed her arms. Tommy looked at his Aunt, then at Sophie, and his gaze cut right through her and made her pretend to be more interested in the floor than his piercing eyes.

“Brothers, go get Scudboat and Curly and Lovelock and get into the safe. Take some money and buy back people’s trust in us. Promise them that nothing like this will ever happen again.” Tommy spoke softly and Arthur and John took Isaiah and Finn through the double doors into the den, “Sophie, go find Ada.”

Sophie shook when he addressed her, “I have no idea where Ada is.”

“I didn’t ask you if you knew where Ada was, I asked you to go and find her.”

“Tommy, do you think it is safe to have Sophie going ‘round by herself right now?” Polly stepped in but he seemed completely unfazed.

“Have Nipper go with her then if you are so concerned, but they aren’t touching any of us Pol, that’s clear. They are making a statement. Now go.” Tommy jerked his head towards the door and a second later Sophie found herself out on the street, the commotion of the afternoon dying down around her, and without a clue as to where to find Ada.

~o0o~

“A bottle of rum.” Tommy opened the small shutter between the bar at the Garrison and the Shelby’s private room in the pub.   
“Light or dark?”

Tommy had been too busy lighting his cigarette to realize that Harry the barkeep wasn’t waiting on him. He had never before seen this woman in Small Heath nor greater Birmingham, but her accent told him she was Irish.

“Dark.” he answered her after looking her over. She was pretty --- beautiful even. Her clothes suggested she came from money, as did the aristocratic slope of her nose and her unblemished pale skin. He smirked. Where in the world did Harry find this one?

She handed him a bottle of dark rum and stood, staring at him. Her eyes were like those of a deer hearing a gunshot – wide and nervous. She clearly did not know how this was supposed to work and after a moment, Tommy realized she was probably waiting for him to pay her.

“Are you a whore?” He saw the offense streak across her face when he asked. He truthfully wanted to know. He’d seek her out and pay her well if she was. God only knew he could use a distraction right now.

“No.” the woman answered.

“Then you are in the wrong place.” Tommy offered his advice, took the rum, and closed the shutter, turning back around to face the Blinders sitting at the table in the enclave. “Right then. John. Arthur. You made sure our people have been taken care of?”

“Yeah Tommy, we made our rounds. Put some veterans to work to repair the Marquis.” Arthur nodded.

“Then I want the rest of you to let everyone you can know to bring their picture of the King to Watery Lane this evening at five. If the coppers want something to do so badly, then I think we should give them a bonfire.” Tommy had been thinking of a way to send the specials a message and get himself an audience with this new chief inspector that had roughed up his brother. 

John slammed his beer glass down on the table in agreement of the plan and soon the lot of the Blinders was up and out of the pub again to spread the news. Tommy had a dozen things to do, but he found himself lingering in the booth, pouring himself a second glass of rum, and letting his mind wander. He shouldn’t have told Sophie to find Ada but he needed to get Polly alone to speak with her. But it hadn’t done him much good as his aunt had spent most of their conversation dressing him down once more about the guns and telling him to dump them in the Cut. Tommy saw things differently. The guns were a bartering chip, but he did have to admit that this mysterious new copper was throwing a wrench in his plans. 

And Sophie – in a matter of days she was drawing him out and making him want to tell her things. He wanted to tell her about the guns and he hadn’t even told his own brothers. He wanted to show her his new horse that he started a fucking war with the Lees over today. He wanted to tell her about his plans for the races and Billy Kimber. He wanted to tell her these things because he used to tell her everything that summer long ago and he hated the way she looked at him – scared and confused. 

“They are in love, aren’t they?”

Sophie and Tommy sat by the Cut, watching Freddie and Ada take off their shoes and socks and wade into the shallow water on the bank a dozen yards away. They all liked this spot. It was shady and cleaner than most of the river, and as far as they dared venture from home.

“What do you know about love, Sophie?” Tommy sighed as he watched his best friend and little sister. He didn’t want Sophie’s opinion on this even though he valued it more than a man in his twenties should value the thoughts of an adolescent. 

“I know John loves Martha. And I know my Mum loved my Dad even though he didn’t love her so much.” Sophie mused and Tommy put a light arm around her shoulder. 

“It’s not your fault your Dad took off when your mum got sick. And no – Freddie and Ada aren’t in love. Just friends.”

“Have you ever been in love, Tommy?” Sophie asked as she used the stick she was fiddling with to sketch nonsense shapes in the mud. It made him laugh to hear her express herself to plainly. She felt so much smarter than her age and he never minded answering her questions. This wasn’t the game of an older girl playing coy. There was no trick.

“Yeah. Once. I don’t suggest it, Soph. Really.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Sophie shrugged and dropped that subject. “I don’t ever want the four of us to not talk.”

“Why would we?”

“I just don’t want it to happen.”

Every day since Sophie has been back in Small Heath, Tommy can’t help but remember more and more from their summer spent together. He poured himself another drink when he realized just how much things had changed. Maybe even then she had seen that those perfect, carefree, sun-washed days would end before he could see it himself. Now his sister was a burden to him instead of a joy, Freddie was an enemy instead of a mate, and Sophie confused him even more than she had seven years ago. 

 

~o0o~

“Ada, where have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere…” Sophie let out a sigh of relief as the Shelby sister stepped out of a flat down a small alleyway by the church. Sophie had been walking around Small Heath for hours, hoping for some sort of lead, and this was more luck than she could have asked for.

“None of your goddamn business.” Ada marched right past her former friend but Sophie did see that Ada’s eyes were red and her face was swollen. There was no mistaking that she had been crying. Sophie turned on her heel to follow her.

“Tommy sent me to find you.” Sophie picked up her pace to meet Ada’s stride. “We’ve been really worried.”

Ada stopped short and whipped around, her bluntly cut hair flying around her face, “Why the hell would you be worried about me? We aren’t friends.”

“We were.”

“Been here a week and you are already doing the Peaky Blinders’ bidding. I guess you are the Shelby girl Tommy and Polly wanted me to be.” The resentment dripped from Ada’s words and Sophie was hurt. She was just as confused as to why Tommy sent her around town to look for her and was only trying to help.

“We just wanted to make sure you were safe, with everything that went on this afternoon with the policemen.” Sophie’s voice was gentle and she took a step closer to Ada.

“Oh, I am well aware what happened this afternoon. It’s all Tommy’s fuckin’ fault he’s gone.” Ada grumbled and started to walk again with tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

“Who is gone?” Sophie asked but Ada just kept walking, “Ada, stop!”

Sophie could not believe how forceful her voice was, or that it actually made the girl who was once her best friend look her dead in the eye. Moments passed and Ada swayed where she stood, conflicted. Both girls felt like they were drowning from the silence and tension that divided them. As much as Ada hated to admit it, the concerned look on Sophie’s face wasn’t fake and she realized actively trying to hate her wasn’t going to do her much good in this shit situation.

“Freddie is gone. My Freddie. I don’t know where and I don’t know when he’s coming back.” There was panic in Ada’s voice as she finally opened up to Sophie. “Tommy’s pissed off this new copper and he’s searching for Communists…and Freddie…”

Freddie Thorne. It hit Sophie so hard she gasped for air. After all this time, after that summer she spent watching them fall in love, they were secretly together. This was the boy she had been sneaking out with and spending all her time with. Sophie wasn’t surprised Freddie has become a Communist. It was an idea kept out of her private boarding school, but Freddie’s energy and determination could certainly get him in trouble if he believed passionately in this. She knew it was smart of him to run.

“He’ll be back, Ada. If he loves you, he’ll be back.”

“He’ll be shot. And if not by the police, then by Tommy. Fuck, Sophie you can’t tell anyone. You can’t tell him. I know he has you working there but you can’t. Promise me.” Ada paced with one hand on her head and the other clutching her belly. It made Sophie’s own stomach lurch.

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” Sophie whispered, stepping closer and touching the crook of Ada’s elbow so that they would start to walk. This wasn’t a conversation they should be having in public. Ada’s eyes filled with tears again.

“How do you know?”

“You were sick the other morning, and you are holding your stomach without thinking about it. I had a friend at school that did that too much in front of the nuns and after a while she didn’t come back,” Sophie lead them back to Watery Lane as they spoke and Ada took her hands off of her still flat belly. Pregnancy out of wedlock was nearly demonized in London at Sophie’s boarding school, and she guessed, based on Ada’s current state, that even in morally ambiguous Birmingham, it would be frowned upon.

“I missed my time over a month ago. I got some iron pills but they aren’t working and now Freddie’s gone and he doesn’t even know.” Ada whispered fervently as they neared the house. “Tommy will kill him.”

“Tommy isn’t going to find out,” Sophie promised. She was crossing the first threshold to getting her friend back and she was not going to jeopardize that. “I promise, we will figure it out and he will come back.”


	6. Longing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for your thoughtful, invested comments and messages! I really hope you like this new chapter! xo

~o0o~

Tommy’s plan had worked. All of Small Heath had converged onto Watery Lane and laid their dusty pictures of the King at his feet. And he set them all on fire. It got the new Chief Inspector’s attention, just as he wanted. He had tea scheduled with the man tomorrow and the Birmingham Evening Dispatch had come and gone, interviewing Tommy about what was happening. He told the truth – or part of it –that he was a war hero and that the city was displeased with its current state. Nothing more, nothing less. They had a right to protest.

Yes, it had worked out exactly as he intended. And now his brothers were off at the Garrison getting drunk and he was standing, hands in his pockets, in front of the raging bonfire, staring. He couldn’t stop staring at her.

Sophie stood next to Ada half a dozen meters away from him. Her coat, one of Ada’s that he recognized, was open at the front and she was wearing one of her prim, sweet, pale lavender dresses from London. She was lightness against everyone around her covered in dirt and musty tweed. Her large eyes watched the fire dance and he watched her, not understanding why she was beginning to consume most of his thoughts. He wanted to talk to her, ask her how she felt, touch her unbelievably pale skin. He wanted to yell at her, put her on the next train to London and forget she was ever here, at no fault of her own -- simply because he felt he was going mad and it had all started when she showed back up in his life.

Tommy sighed and gazed back into the flames, contemplating his next move. The thought of going to Lizzie briefly crossed him mind as did the thought of going to the Garrison to join his brothers and have that pretty barmaid pour him a drink. The option he chose scared him more than it should have.

“Walk with me, Sophie.” 

It wasn’t a question and the girl seemed startled when he appeared before them.

“Oh, hello Ada, how are you doing, Ada?” his sister crossed her arms and dug at him for his bluntness. He wanted to laugh but all that crossed his lips was a smirk.

“Ada, I was talking to Sophie. Go home.” His piercing eyes turned straight towards his sister, telling her that in no uncertain terms was she forgiven for not being around. Ada gently touched Sophie’s arm before huffing and walking away. The gesture wasn’t lost on Tommy. Clearly, they had moved past whatever had divided them.

“I think I’ll stay here and watch the fire.” Sophie finally spoke and once again Tommy was both annoyed and the tiniest bit proud at her stubbornness. 

“There’s something I want to show you and I think you’ll like it better than this.” 

With only a nod, Sophie agreed. He offered her his arm as they began to walk but she kept hers in the pockets of her borrowed coat and the silence ate at them as they walked down the cobbled lanes towards the edge of Small Heath. Tommy found himself at a loss for words, simply because wanted to say too much to her. Sophie was in the same position, but only because she couldn’t believe how different this felt than the times she and him would walk around the city together when they were younger. 

“How’s Ada?” Tommy started, clearing his throat.

“She’s fine.” Sophie countered, a little too quickly. The two girls had spent the afternoon together re-acquainting themselves. It was remarkable how those walls came down and soon they were the two little princesses of Small Heath again, wrapped tightly in each other’s confidence. Sophie wasn’t about to jeopardize that by divulging too much.

“Where did you find her?”

“In the lane. She was just taking a walk.”

“Was she with a boy?”

“There was no boy, Tommy.”

“There’s always a boy with Ada.”

Sophie reveled in her secret. If only Tommy knew that boy was Freddie Thorne. If only he knew that things weren’t as different as they were six years ago. Since she had stepped back into Small Heath, it was clear Tommy was in charge – that he knew everything. But he didn’t. There was so much he was missing that she could see and he couldn’t.

They walked through his Uncle Charlie’s shipping yard to the stables, and Tommy gently opened the door and led Sophie to the very last stall. She gasped in delight and that little noise was worth everything to him.

“She’s beautiful!” Sophie’s eyes lit up when she saw the white filly in the stall. She gently reached out and touched the horse, marveling at the flawless coat and the blue eyes. They were as crystal clear and striking as Tommy’s.  
“I don’t have a name for her yet.” Tommy watched and leaned against the wall of the stall. When they were younger, Sophie had been fascinated by horses and she hadn’t lost that. John had told him a few times through the years that she was learning to ride at school. It wasn’t of much consequence to Tommy then, but now he found himself wanting to create reasons for Sophie to be happy here. 

Sophie ran her hand over the shoulder of the horse and she responded with soft whinny. “Are you going to race her?”

“She needs training, but yes.” Tommy started a war with the Lee family for this horse and watching Sophie with her made it worth whatever fallout would come. “John told me you know how to ride.”

Sophie stopped and looked at Tommy. He had the barest hint of a smile on his face and it made her stomach flutter for reasons she couldn’t articulate. She could count on one hand the number of times she had seen him smile since she had been back in town, “I’m decent, but nothing more.”

“I think you could help me though, with her. Take her out so she doesn’t get footsore. Maybe we could call her the Princess of Small Heath.” Tommy suggested and stepped away from the wall towards the horse. He placed his hand on her muzzle as he stood next to Sophie. He could smell the sweetness of her mixed with the rawness of the hay beneath their feet.

“That’s what you used to call Ada when we were younger.”

“I used to call you that too. Small Heath is big enough for two princesses.”

“Three, if you count her,” Sophie gave the newly christened horse a light pat. It was nice to feel that maybe not everything that once connected them was gone. He seemed to still remember.

“Then it’s settled.” Tommy’s voice regained the gruffness Sophie had grown used to. This time when he offered her his arm on the walk back to Watery Lane, she took it and he wished she hadn’t.

There she was, her left side pressed against his right as they walked in the night, with almost a foot of difference between their heights. Embarrassment niggled at him when he thought of how he had almost kissed her in the stables and she thought of him, at best, as a friend – but mostly as an older brother of sorts and maybe at worst, her boss. He said goodnight to her when he left her on the doorstep of her new home and continued on by himself. He needed to hear that barmaid sing.

~o0o~

“Can I go out and play with Finn?” George looked up at Sophie and asked in his sweetest voice. He looked just like his father with his round cheeks and high forehead. Since it was Saturday, Sophie’s day devoted entirely to John’s children, she had taken over the main living room with them and their toys. She felt that their nursery was often too small to play in and now she was dressing dolls with Emma and Mary and Henry was happy with his blocks. Pushing six years old, George was often restless for something new and did not want to sit and be forced into imaginary games.

“Yes, but just right outside where I can see you.” Sophie pointed to the narrow strip of street where she wanted him to be. She was able to see it if they kept the door open and the weather was nice enough today to do so. George gave her a kiss on the cheek and ran outside to play stickball with his cousin. In such a short time, they had become family and it made Sophie feel content. Her life was different than what she imagined it would be, but each day she felt better about the decision she made to stay. 

“Soph, you play with her.” Mary handed a doll to Sophie so they could continue their game. The children used her nickname as an endearment when they head their father use it and Sophie loved it. A few short months ago the thought of being a mother had never crossed her mind. But now, here she was – somewhat of a surrogate mum to these four children while still in the December of her own childhood. 

“Ah….there’s my girls and my baby boy!” John’s happy voice filled the room as he walked in from the betting den. There was a race that afternoon and it was clear he had been working hard taking bets as his shirtsleeves were rolled up and his jacket was off. Sophie knew there would be plenty of work for her tomorrow to sort out the wins and losses.

“Dada!” Henry giggle when his father picked him up and hugged him. Emma and Mary showed him the new dresses on their dolls. Even though he could cut a man to shreds, he was a good father.

“Soph, I want to tell ya somethin’,” John said as he sat down on the couch and Sophie lifted herself from her cross-legged position on the floor and joined him. The glint in his eye told her it was happy news. “I’m in love with someone, Soph, and I want to marry her.”

His whispered news didn’t draw any attention from the children, but Sophie was shocked. “Who is she? How long have you known her?” Sophie didn’t know much about love, but she guessed it took longer than a few weeks to fall into it.

“I’ve known her a while and she’s a good woman.” John could see the skepticism on her face and was quick to try and convince her and the tightness in his voice suggested he was maybe trying to convince himself but she didn’t know why he would need to.

“What about the children…” Sophie couldn’t articulate it fully, but she didn’t want to give up the bond that was just beginning with them. If her purpose for coming to Small Heath was them, then where did this put her? John took her hands in his.

“I’m not going to tell you to go, Soph. I’ve loved having you here more than anything. It feels right. It feels like family. Lizzie will be like their mum and you can be their older sister. Nothing is going to change. You have your job with us now and this will give you more time to do what you want to do. And for fuck’s sake I want more kids. I want a whole fucking brood of them and you and I can’t manage that on our own, now can we?” John looked her in the eye and she saw a man in love again, but also a man that needed help. More help than she could give. She felt a bit useless, but who was she to tell him not to do it? He had lost his first love and he deserved another shot at happiness.

“Can I meet Lizzie…you know, if we are all going to live together?” Sophie asked and John nodded. He promised they would meet right away. He was going to ask her to marry him just as soon as he spoke to the rest of the family. He told Sophie that they had already talked about it and Lizzie felt the exact same way. Sophie gave him a hug and then slid back onto the floor to continue the doll tea party with the twins.

“To celebrate, we are going to the Garrison tonight, and you are coming too. Arthur and I won’t take no for an answer! Especially not when I tell him this!” John called out over his shoulder before getting back to work and Sophie just laughed and shook her head.

~o0o~

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Sophie leaned closer to Ada after she ordered a beer at the bar. The Garrison was fuller than usual for a Saturday night, partially because of the races that afternoon, but mostly because of the new barmaid. It was easy to see how pretty she was and how differently she carried herself from the other girls in Small Heath. Sophie hoped to talk to her later. She reminded her of herself: a little out of place. 

“It’s just mild, Sophie. It won’t hurt the baby. And if I don’t go back to the table with a drink in my hand, they’ll know something is wrong. Here…” Ada handed Sophie a beer and the two girls made their way back to the small, inset booth reserved from the Blinders. Arthur, John, Scudboat, Lovelock, Nipper, and Henry were there already and halfway through a second bottle of whisky between them all. Ashtrays and highball glasses littered the table and Sophie slid into the booth next to Henry.

“You look like an angel tonight, Sophie,” Henry complimented her, but his words were slightly slurred. Sophie found him cute. He was closer to her age than the other Blinders and had a boyish smile and dark curls. She gave him a smile and touched her glass to his.

“John boy is gettin’ married!” Arthur lolled his head back and whooped it to the ceiling before catching his brother into an affectionate headlock.

“Fuck off Arthur, come on…” John’s smile crept up the left side of his face and his cheeks were pinched pink from booze and embarrassment.

“Married? To who?” Ada nearly spat her beer back out into the glass and Arthur and the rest of the boys laughed.

“That’s why we are celebratin’, little sister! John is going to ask Lizzie Stark for her hand in marriage!” Arthur raised his glass for a toast and Sophie watched her friend’s eyes widen. 

“Does Tommy know? Polly?” Ada continued, looking concerned.

“Ada, stop askin’ fucking questions!” Arthur playfully ribbed his sister and she leaned back into her chair and tucked into her beer after rolling her eyes. Nipper poured another round of whisky for the boys and Sophie found that once again, just a half glass of mild quickly went to her inexperienced head. She felt warm and happy sitting by Henry and leaned into his compliments readily as the night deepened and the laughter and alcohol flowed freely.

From the bar, Grace Burgess watched the Shelby family. She felt that she wasn’t getting anywhere with them, especially not with their leader, Tommy. She had been specifically tasked by Chief Inspector Campbell to integrate herself into Small Heath and find out what she could about the Shelby’s and their dealings. He was particularly interested in the whereabouts of the stolen government weapons and any Communist happenings, and she wasn’t proving useful to him with any of it, as he was making himself very clear to her in their weekly meetings. She knew he had met with Tommy earlier this week, but the one night he had come into the bar, he had watched her sing and left before she could think up a reason to speak to him.

So far, all she knew was that Arthur and John Shelby loved to drink, the sister, Ada, had a boyfriend who was a Communist, and the other girl that was always with them was some sort of relative from London. That girl seemed sweet, and also the most likely to be manipulated. As far as Grace could tell, she might be her only hope of getting some answers.

Grace was pouring some rum for the next customer when Tommy walked into the Garrison. He was an interesting man to try and read, and tonight, all she had to do was watch him for a moment for it to all fall into place for her.

Tommy parked himself at the other end of the bar, by Harry, who quickly poured his best patron a glass of dark rum. Grace watched his face as his sharp blue eyes moved across the room and locked onto the young girl she had just been thinking about, who currently had the arm of one of the Blinders around her and was laughing. Campbell had wanted Grace, in no uncertain terms, to use her looks and charm to worm her way into Tommy Shelby’s bed. But yet, she’d been here a few weeks and he had barely looked her over. As Grace watched Tommy’s jaw lock from watching the table at the far side of the room, it started to all make sense. That girl was who he wanted. That girl was who she needed to befriend.


	7. A Whore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and for your amazing comments! I am so glad you all are enjoying this and it makes me so absolutely delighted to hear your reactions and thoughts!!

~o0o~

Tommy drank. He drank like a man finally tasting water after days in the desert. He drank and never once made his way to the table where his brothers and sister and she sat. John said he had something important to announce. Tommy waved him off. Ada tried to pull him over there too and he ignored her. Tommy knew that if he went over to that table, he would make a critical mistake and jeopardize what little positive emotion Sophie felt for him.

So, he drank until everything around him was almost beyond comprehension. Usually that was Arthur’s party trick. Tommy was always in control – he had to be. If he wasn’t, someone was going to end up hurt. There were people all over the city on this new Inspector’s payroll looking for the guns he was hiding, even though Tommy had cut himself a deal with the old man. It was irresponsible to get that drunk, but Tommy kept sliding his glass over to Harry for him to refill it. All because he couldn’t bear to watch what was happening at the table on the far side of the pub, yet he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Henry, a Blinder and one of John’s buddies from the war, was bending over backwards to impress Sophie. He had his arm around her and had her laughing. It made Tommy’s grip tighten around his glass. He usually wasn’t a jealous man – when it came to women he nearly always got what he , and when he didn’t, he cut his losses without much fanfare. It felt odd to meet this new side of himself – a side that favored the torture of watching Sophie with Henry instead of going off to fuck someone else. 

The moments blurred together and sped on until the pub closed. Grace cleaned glasses and Harry leafed through tips. Ada took her leave and John and Arthur laughed their drunken heads off together. 

“Tommy! Come on…” Arthur waved exaggeratedly for his brother to leave with them, but Tommy shook his head. He wasn’t quite sure if he was ready to stand yet and he didn’t want to give his excess away. Henry and Sophie stood up from the booth as well and Henry rested his hand on the small of her back. Tommy heard mumbles about him walking her home mixed with Harry telling Grace she should be on her way. He offered to walk Grace home.

~o0o~

“Would you want to go to the pictures next weekend with me?” Henry asked Sophie as they walked down the lane, slowly, arm in arm, lingering together as John and Arthur drunkenly stumbled ahead of them. Sophie truthfully didn’t know what to say. She had never been asked on a date before by a boy.

“That would be nice. I will have to ask, though.” Sophie told him with a smile in the darkness. He nodded eagerly. Henry was drunk but didn’t forget that asking a member of the Shelby family, blood or not, on a date was a risk. 

“You just let me know, sweetheart.” They stopped on the doorstep and he leaned in closer to her and her heart started to race, but not in the way she expected. She put a hand against his chest to create some distance.

“I’ll talk to you soon.” It was all she said before she slipped inside the door. She had almost had her first kiss but pulled away and didn’t know why. She had a nice time with Henry. She was floating in a world of happiness induced by too much beer. But still, when his lips got close to hers, she just didn’t feel anything. She felt like kissing him wouldn’t be fair.

She looked around the empty, dark kitchen, noting that Arthur and John must have already passed out in their beds. She climbed the stairs towards hers, dizzy.

~o0o~

“Would you like to come in?” Grace asked Tommy, searching his blue eyes for any hint of what he might be feeling or thinking. He had offered to walk her home so she wouldn’t be alone so late, but hadn’t said a word to her beyond that. She was running out of time with him.

Her question pulled Tommy away from his thoughts and he considered it. He wanted to know more about Grace, if nothing else, and it would be nice to sleep with someone he didn’t have to pay. But, thoughts of Sophie disappearing into the night with Henry gnawed at him. 

“Thank you, Miss Burgess, but maybe another time.” Tommy gave her a small nod and left her fumbling with her key. He took ten steps into the darkness and then turned around. “Have you ever been to the races?”

Grace paused, one foot over the threshold into her small flat. “No.”

“You are going with me. Next Saturday. I’ll come ‘round for you here. Wear something nice.” Tommy told her and then continued his walk back to Watery Lane, his hand diving into his pockets for a cigarette.

He didn’t know what exactly compelled him to ask. A combination of loneliness, drunkenness, and rare self-doubt. John wouldn’t want Sophie at the races. Neither would Polly. She couldn’t go. But Tommy certainly couldn’t walk in and see Billy Kimber without a pretty girl on his arm.

The closer he got to the offices and the familiar, comforting pull of his family home, the more he thought of Sophie and how a few long drags from his pipe would momentarily sort all of his feelings out so he could get a decent nights’ sleep. 

The house was silent and he locked the kitchen door behind him before climbing up the stairs. He was still piss drunk and stumbled on the second to last stair before the third-floor landing. He put his hand out to stop himself from landing on his face, but when he stood up, his dizziness couldn’t obscure Sophie standing in front of him.

“Are you alright, Tommy?” she asked, quietly. She looked sleepy and her eyes were a little glassy from the beer, but he was sure his mouth fell open when he saw her. She was wearing a thin, long night gown and her brown hair tumbled messily over her shoulders. He could barely make out the peaks of her nipples under the fabric and his jealousy from earlier rushed through him once more.

“Did he touch you?” Tommy pulled himself up back to his full height and completely ignored her politeness. 

“Who?”

“Henry.”

Sophie thought about telling Tommy that Henry had almost kissed her. And would have if she hadn’t pushed him back. Even though she strangely felt compelled to say something, he didn’t need to know. She’d tell Ada tomorrow. “Why would you ask that?”

“I saw you leave with him. I saw his hands all over you all night, Sophie.” He added her name to his sentence, both wanting to intimidate her and liking the way it sounded on his lips. “I told you I didn’t want you going to the pub with any men.”

“You told me not to go with any man that wasn’t a Blinder. Henry’s a Blinder. And we went because John is going to get married and we were celebrating that, but you couldn’t care less and sulked by the bar the whole night!” Sophie’s tone changed but she didn’t raise her voice lest she wake up the children sleeping soundly down the hall.

Tommy froze. He could hear Arthur’s snores now and the quiet rustles of John’s children turning over in their beds. He took Sophie by her thin arm and walked with her to his room at the end of the hall, led them both in, and closed the door. She watched him, bewildered, as he turned on the lamp by his bed. He could see her more clearly now and she self-consciously crossed her arms over her chest.

“Like I said…” Sophie began but he cut her off.

“I don’t care if Henry is a Blinder. He’s not family. He’s older than you and he’ll take advantage of you. I trust him, but not with you. Are we clear?”

“No. He wants to take me to the pictures and I think I’d like to go.”

“That’s not happening.” Tommy laughed a bit. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It didn’t help that everything in the room was slightly off-kilter. He sat down on his bed. “You are busy. You work for me and you take care of John’s children. If you want to go to the pictures, you and Ada go on your day off -- since the two of you are back in good graces.

Sophie noted the slight bitterness in his tone and curled her toes at the draftiness of his room. There wasn’t much that signaled it belonged to him or was even lived in other than the indent on his mattress and his clothes hanging neat and pressed in the small, open closet.

“I won’t be watching the children anymore when John is married.”

“And who the hell is John marrying?”

“Lizzie Stark.”

Tommy was certain his night couldn’t get any worse. First watching Henry and Sophie together, and now having her standing in his room looking like an angel while pushing every single one of his buttons. And now Lizzie was going to marry his brother. “Lizzie Stark?”

“That’s what I said,” Sophie shifted her weight, “Tommy, I really should go to bed.”

“Lizzie Stark. John is marrying Lizzie Stark. Has he asked her yet?”

“Do you know her, or something?” Sophie was truthfully a bit nervous about the haunted look in Tommy’s eyes.

“Yeah. I know her.” Tommy ran his hands through his hair and groaned. “I fuck her.”

The look on Sophie’s face made him perversely satisfied and he hated it. Part of him wanted her to feel something for him, even it was simply disgust. The other part of him didn’t want her to judge him for what he does.

“She’s your girlfriend?”

“For fuck’s sake…” Tommy sighed, “She’s a whore. I’ve been seeing her since I got back from the war. Not that often. Lately…” he stopped when he saw her eyes widen, “It doesn’t matter. John can’t marry her.”

“Because she’s a whore or because you want her for yourself?” Sophie felt anger rising in her chest. She didn’t like what she was hearing. She felt protective over John and betrayed for him. And she wanted to find this Lizzie and tell her off. How dare she tell John she loved him if she was sleeping with Tommy? But how dare Tommy dictate what anyone else could and couldn’t do if they were happy? The anger kept welling up inside of her – wanting to protect John and the children who were practically her siblings. 

“I don’t want her.” Tommy looked at Sophie and shook his head. He wanted the woman standing in front of him. But she would never know that. He’d only been seeing Lizzie as a sad substitute. “But you wouldn’t want John’s children being raised by a whore, would you?”

Sophie didn’t know what to say at first. He instincts told her no. She was angry at this woman and had never even met her. But she was also angry at Tommy for being so condescending. “You like her enough to pay her to spread her legs for you, but you don’t respect that she’d be a good mother or wife?” She was shocked at her own words, but surely John must know what Lizzie is and loves her anyway. But that’s for him to decide.

“Enough.” Tommy told her. “I’ll talk to John in the morning. If he’s serious about this, then Lizzie has been lying to him about what she’s been doing. Either way he’ll have to find someone else. And you’ll have to find someone else to go to the pictures with”.

Sophie quickly crossed the space of cold wood floor to his door and slipped out, eager to get back to her warm bed and away from him. But even tucked under her blankets, she couldn’t help but conjure up her own image of Lizzie with Tommy.

~o0o~

Sophie grimaced at the sun shining across her eyes through the dirty window. The light told her that it was later than she normally woke up and her head ached. She had never had that much to drink before but it wasn’t so much that she didn’t remember with crystal clarity what had happened last night. 

She didn’t hear the children in the next room and quickly dressed for the day and went to see if Ada was still in her room. She noticed Tommy’s door was open and his room was vacant. If it was as late as she thought, she was sure he had already spoken to John.

“Do you feel as awful as I do?” Sophie asked her friend after Ada called out for her to come in her room. She was hunched over the wash basin.

“Yes, but for different reasons.” Ada sighed. Her morning sickness hadn’t stopped and she was currently cleaning herself up from this mornings’ bout. “Looked like you and Henry were having fun last night”.

Sophie sat down on Ada’s bed and tucked her legs up underneath her dress. It was Sunday – race day – and the Blinders would surely already be busy at the track. She was just thankful she wasn’t due at work. She didn’t know if she could look at Tommy after last night.

“I was. But then he tried to kiss me.”

“And?” Ada smirked, waiting for more.

“I left him standing at the door. He asked me out on a date. But I’m not sure…” Sophie didn’t feel like going into her conversation with Tommy and why she wouldn’t be allowed to go even if she wanted to.

“Well…at least you won’t end up up the duff like I am.” Ada laughed, “He’s pretty good-looking though. You could do worse. Come on….I’m starving.”

Ada and Sophie headed downstairs and found Polly at the kitchen table reading the paper. Ada grabbed a piece of buttered bread and the two girls sat down with her.

“It seems like last night was a failure for John but a success for the two of you, judging by how sick you both look.” Polly lowered the paper and looked across the table at the two girls, “How are you feeling, Sophie?”

“I’ve felt better.” Sophie blushed a bit and Polly nodded knowingly but kindly.

“I’ll fix you some tea that will get rid of that headache. At least you missed the cocks fighting this morning. John’s beside himself. He didn’t even go to the races”. Polly went on and Sophie felt her stomach drop. Clearly Tommy had confronted John about Lizzie and it didn’t turn out so well.

“I don’t know what he was thinking. Lizzie of all people!” Ada giggled but Sophie just ate her toast in silence.

“He’s a man in love and men in love don’t think with anything else but what’s in their pants. Tommy set him straight,” Polly sighed and then looked from Ada to Sophie and back again. “Stand up Ada.”

Ada gave her a dirty look as crumbs fell from the corner of her mouth, “Why?”

“Just stand up!”

Ada pushed back her chair and stood up, annoyed, as Polly did the same and rounded the table, coming behind Ada and firmly grabbing her left breast. Ada yelped and slapped her away.

“What the fuck, Pol…”

“How long have you been pregnant?” Polly asked. There was no emotion in her voice and Sophie wanted to shrink away into nothing. Her head started throbbing worse than before.

“I’m not pregnant!” Ada protested, but it wasn’t very convincing. Polly was looking her niece over and it was clear that her body was already changing.

“How long, Ada?”

“Three months, I think?” Ada bit her lip, “Maybe a little less.” 

Polly wrung her hands, “Whose?”

“Pol…”

“Would you rather I know, or Tommy?” Polly asked and Sophie gave her friend a look as if to say ‘this is better than the alternative’.

“Fuck. It’s Freddie Thorne. And he left town when the coppers were going around turning out houses looking for…” Ada stopped short at the word ‘communists’.

“He’ll come back, Ada. I know it.” Sophie offered. Polly placed her hands on her hips. Ada being pregnant was one thing. Ada being pregnant, with no chance of being married, and knocked up by Tommy’s enemy was another.

“He needs to marry you, Ada. But in order to marry you, he actually has to be in Birmingham. If you are three months along, you need to make a decision. I know a woman who could help you. It’s better than trying to do it yourself. I got pregnant when I was sixteen and…well…I almost died trying to get rid of it.” Polly leaned over the table, placing a hand on the splintery wood, struck by her memory. 

“I’m not going to get rid of it, Polly. I’m keeping the baby.” Ada stood her ground. 

“They’ll call you a whore and they’ll call your baby a bastard and no one will care that Freddie didn’t come back.” Polly raised an eyebrow, “Do you want that?”

“He’ll come back. Come on, Sophie.” Ada locked her jaw and the two girls headed out into the rare sunshine of Birmingham to figure it out for themselves.


End file.
